False Fingertips

In second grade, my teacher read aloud a book called The Mystery of the False Fingertips by James Holden. It tells the story of two teenage boys who set out to solve a mystery about a set of Egyptian ceremonial fingertips which were stolen from a museum. There was intrigue, action and suspense. This was my first exposure to a mystery book, and it captured my attention as the two boys searched for the truth of what happened to the stolen artifacts. I was transfixed each day as my teacher read us each exciting chapter.

Even though I was thoroughly engaged in the mystery book, I was not as focused on my other academic pursuits. I was disorganized and had trouble keeping up with assignments. To hide my lack of discipline and effort, I tried to play the part of a “good” student. Back in the day, we had dedicated lift top desks and I kept the top of my desk spotlessly clean. To any casual observer, I was a model student, yet under the surface of my desktop lurked a different reality. I did my best to hide the growing mess of papers and other items stuffed inside the desk.

My typical routine was to dig through the mess inside my desk at the start of the day and retrieve the crumpled assignment. This worked for a while until one day my teacher walked up and asked for an assignment. I was caught red-handed! She stood over my desk and held out her had for the assignment. I asked her to give me a few minutes and that I would give it to her shortly. She must have known about my sham because she demanded that I give it to her immediately. She then stated, “Open your desk!”

Red-faced with embarrassment, I opened my desk as the students around me gasped. The remnants of a full year’s schoolwork lie crumpled within the metal frame. Combined with this mess was an assortment of leftover bag lunches with a growing variety of new life forms. Students began to laugh, and the truth about me was revealed to the entire class. I was not a model student.

The truth is an interesting thing. People seem to have an innate need to search for the truth. My interest in the Mystery of the False Fingertips stemmed from my desire to learn the truth about the stolen items. We watch the news to discover the truth about our surroundings. We search online to understand the changing world around us. Yet, the most important truth lies inside each of us. Only we can know the truth about our internal realty - which is created by our experiences, actions and behaviors. How we handle the truth is a decision we must make each day. I attempted to hide the truth from my second grade teacher and classmates and believed that my ruse was working… for a while. But maintaining and covering up my flawed behavior was stressful. I felt anxiety while digging for my assignments and the guilt was eating me up inside. Revealing the truth was painful at first, but it inspired me to make better choices going forward. I learned to work harder at school. The weight of hiding my disorganization was also eliminated.

We all have "messy desk" experiences in our lives - things we want to hide from the world. In fact, many truths in this world are hidden, which can feel frustrating and overwhelming at times. Yet, I believe that the most important thing we need to do is model truthful behavior every day. The act of sharing truth in the moment with others raises the bar and makes a significant impact on the others. Valuing truth’s economy frees us from duplicitous stress and guilt. It is liberating.

It is important that we do our best to exemplify honest and truthful behavior to those around us so they can learn and value that same. I appreciate that our Malden Catholic community honors and values integrity, and we hold each other to this standard.